Cyanide Angel: The urban belief

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

.Mall.

Dreamed by Line at 10:07 pm
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Sunday, May 23, 2004

.Blah.

LiveJournals not working, so. Back to the blog for a night.

Everything just coasts along, for a time. But as always, the ship hits a storm, and sinks. No survivors, it just sinks. I feel like thats my life. And then we build a new ship, set it out to sea, and it immediatly sinks. Its absofuckinglutly wonderful.

I feel like I'm going to faint...and...its...a welcome feeling...

Sometimes, I want to bleed, until I find that welcome vertigo. But yet, I can't let myself.

And always, everyone else comes before me. Dont tell me otherwise. Its just how...I deal with shit. God. Please help. So...lost...

Because every once in a while, I need to break down into someone's arms...Its just that...I pick inopportune moments...

Dreamed by Line at 10:15 pm
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Tuesday, May 18, 2004

.New.

Hi there! I won't be using this blog anymore, I guess. So...yeah...

I have a livejournal though!

-Line-

-Sweet Blasphemy-

Dreamed by Line at 06:04 pm
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Sunday, May 16, 2004

.Care.

And I could, just...tell myself to stop caring. But...it didn't work last time, and its not going to work again.

Dreamed by Line at 12:01 am
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Saturday, May 15, 2004

.Worried.

I'm slightly worried.

...
No.
...
I'm really worried.
...
And I wish I wasn't. But I can't help it...it's all my fault...And I should be the one to fix it...but...
I don't know how.
...
And.
...
I want to help...but I don't know if you'll let me...
...
You know I care...
...
I'd never let you forget that.

...
My love's not just for anyone...
Love.
...
I use that word sparingly.
...
But...I do love you...And please...please...don't ever forget that...

...
Because I'd die for love.
...
I don't know if you even care...or if you'll even read this...
...
But I worry...and...I love you, no matter what.
...

Don't forget that.

Dreamed by Line at 03:18 pm
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Wednesday, May 05, 2004

.Hail?.

Only here does it hail in May...It's amazing...

Dreamed by Line at 05:52 pm
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Monday, May 03, 2004

...

And god, I havent cried this much...for years...

Dreamed by Line at 10:40 pm
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Sunday, May 02, 2004

.Rose.

I Am a Rose

   I am a rose. I am both beauty and malice, appearance and reality. Others see me, but they cannot look past my valued mask; the one I put up to cover my feelings, and thoughts. My velvety petals of a smile conceal me with my desired covering, hiding my true self. I put up thorns to ward off others, refusing to accept help from those that I do not trust, because trust is an important ideal for me, only awarded to those that I love. First impressions make me; seeing that no one can look past, other than those I let close enough to admire my thorns.
   To those who I do let past, I’m caring, gentle, just like the covering that I put over myself, but more genuine. Hurt me, I will still live, no matter how fragile and easily broken I am, or may seem. I have been through plenty; I live through the winter, to bloom again in the spring. I always surprise, showing my beautiful petals when I bloom without a blemish or a flaw, curiously enticing to those around me.
   I am a rose. Unique, yet treasured and beautiful, or so I have been told. Like a rose, I am constantly growing, changing, finding my own path to the sunlight. With a little care and nurturing from those that love me, I heal, if I am broken, and I mature. I live in beautiful solitude, alone, not needing to be around others, though the company is always welcome. I seem to have an elegant maturity that attracts others towards me, though I don’t appear to try at all. Curiously vague like a rose, I quietly observe the passersby to my garden of life.

Dreamed by Line at 01:30 am
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Wednesday, April 28, 2004

.Keh.

Livejournal. I use that now. I can see who reads my stuff. And can block people too.

Everythings....falling....and I can't stop it....Dammit....

Dreamed by Line at 11:35 pm
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Wednesday, April 21, 2004

.Gah.

Just once. Just once I'd like to know what I did wrong, so that I won't do such next time. DAMMIT.
Why? Why the fuck.
God dammit. I should just...not talk to people in the first place. This wouldn't have happened.
FUCK.
And why am I still beating myself over the head for this?
Because, this is my fault.
Shit.
Someone, next time, just tell me to shut up, and not get to know people. Because...apparently I hurt them.
God DAMMIT.

One reason I like LiveJournal, is that you can make your entries friends only...Gah.

~Line~
~Sweet Blasphemy~

Dreamed by Line at 11:17 pm
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